Why are some women such doormats to the men in their lives? They are the type of women who take all kinds of abuse from their husbands and boyfriends. They stay in unhealthy relationships where they do not have a say in how they run their own lives. Abuse does not have to be physical. I have a friend who is so emotionally and verbally abused that she goes through life numb to everything. Her husband cannot hold down a job. Yet, he expects her to work two or three jobs and take care of their four kids. Yesterday we found out that they are at least $1,000 in the hole this month. Her husband balanced the checkbook wrong. So, they have overdraft fees up to their ears. My friend told us that she didn't have any food in the house and her kids went to school hungry without breakfast. She said she was going through her kids clothes to see if she could sell any of them to the consignment shop. That way she would have a few dollars to put gas in her car. Now this is just wrong. Her husband is perfectly healthy. He does have the ability to work. I don't know if he is just lazy or has too much pride to take a job that only pays $10 or $12 bucks an hour. At least that would put food on their table! In my eyes, he is a big loser.
My friends and I have gotten together and chipped in some money to buy some groceries for our friend. Last night a couple of my friends dropped the groceries off at her house. They even went to the gas station and filled her car up with gas. Our friend was so grateful. She thanked them profusely through a stream of tears. Her husband said nothing. He didn't even help them carry the groceries in from out of the car! He is so ungrateful! Ugh...
As a group, my friends and I have mixed feelings about helping this family. We love our friend. But, this same situation has been going on for years and years. Someone is always bailing them out of tough times...over and over again. We want to help our friend and her children. But, we don't want to keep enabling her husband to treat her that way. The bottom line is that she feels trapped. She feels like there is no way she could support herself and four children on her own. But, her husband certainly isn't being supportive right now. He's never done a good job of supporting them. I think he has her so brainwashed and beaten down emotionally that she has no confidence left. Therefore, she continues to live her life as a doormat. How completely tragic is that?
1 comment:
The best thing you can do for her is to be there to listen to her when she talks to you, and then give her the benefit of your experience and thoughts. As my mother told me many years ago, "you'll stay until you are uncomfortable enough to leave." It's true - women stay in relationships like this for a multitude of reasons, but they have to reach a certain level of frustration or whatever in order to be able to leave.
Good posting -
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