Contact Improvisation

Wow! I just watched the most amazing video for one of my classes. It was all about the style of dance known as contact improvisation. The video was entitled Common Ground. It showed how even people with disabilities can participate in dance. Contact improvisation involves stretching, rolling, balancing, sharing weight with a partner, and relaxing muscle tension. It is a type of dance that can be done equally between partners...even if one partner is disabled and the other is not. The goal is to communicate through the sense of touch. I thought it was wonderful to see people in wheelchairs be able to lean, balance, and move in a way that was so freeing to them. I think so many people with disabilities feel so trapped by those disabilities. I don't mean just physically. I think they feel emotionally and mentally trapped as well. This type of dance allows both disabled and non-disabled people the opportunity to get out of their comfort zones and interact in a positive way. When I was watching this video, I was thinking how therapeutic this type of dance is for everyone involved! It opened my eyes to something I was completely unaware even existed!

Thanksgiving

Ahhh...Thanksgiving. The warms smells of turkey, homemade rolls, and apple pie baking in the oven fill the air...as the women work away in the kitchen! As I have grown older, I have become a little bitter about Thanksgiving. Why is it that the men get to lay on the couch watching football while the women are in the kitchen frantically cooking and cleaning?

I really got frustrated the other day as we were planning for Thanksgiving. When I inquired about what time we would be eating, one woman replied, "Well, we will have to eat between football games." Ughhhhhhhh.... Apparently football has taken the place of good old family bonding.

I have to say that I don't look forward to Thanksgiving. I will spend the day trying not to walk in front of the television as I serve appetizers to the men lounged about in the living room. I will also have to try to keep the children from running through the living room. Heaven forbid, one of those guys misses an important play! After we hastily eat dinner between ball games, I will be one of many women cleaning up the kitchen. This is just not a good time in my book! But, as usual, I will put a smile on my face and grin and bear it...along with most of the female population in America!

Women and Religion

Women and religion. This is an extremely difficult subject for me. I am a very faithful person. I believe in God with all my heart. I believe in the power of prayer. I believe that God has a plan for all of us. Religion, or should I say spirituality, runs a deep thread through my life.

But, there are some things that disturb me about religion. I am a strong, independent woman with a voice. I often times find my voice lost in the male voices of my Southern Baptist upbringing. I do not think that wives should be submissive to their husbands at all costs. For one reason, this is unrealistic in today's world. Typically both men and women have to work to support their families. Therefore, I think they should have equality in their marriages. Secondly, I think women should be able to hold leadership positions within a church. By this, I mean they should be allowed to be ministers. Luckily, over the years, I have seen the tides turning in this direction. We have a woman Children's Minister in our church. I know of several other Baptist churches in our area that also have Children's Ministers that are women. But, this is not the norm. Thirdly, women should not have to stay in abusive marriages just to please their husbands. I do not think God meant for women to be battered and beat down. These are just a couple of my concerns I have regarding the negative qualities of religion.

On the other hand, there are many positive things about religion that I love. Church does provide a place for women to gather and socialize. There is great power in fellowship and friendship. I think this sense of belonging gives women feelings of worth and value. Church also provides women many leadership opportunities such as organizing events, teaching Sunday school, directing Vacation Bible School, etc. I am all for women being brought together in meaningful, positive ways!

So, I have conflicting views about religion. I think there are times when it can be overly extreme and other times when it is too passive. But, I love the Lord and I hope to be with Him in Heaven someday! Therefore, I'll stay faithful...

Dying to be Thin

I just watched the most disturbing documentary about eating disorders. Part of the film was based on ballet dancers. It was scary to see how those dancers are expected to be as thin as twigs. The instructors were telling these girls that they needed to lose weight even when it was obvious they were grossly underweight. These girls were so incredibly talented. But, to have to be so consumed by weight issues caused grief to the majority of them. Another part of the film focused on a girl who had been sexually molested. She had zero self-esteem and self-worth. She basically began starving herself because she felt like eating (or not eating) was the only control she had in her life. All the girls featured in this documentary had to go through therapy and rehabilitation to help with their eating disorders. Why do we have to live in a society where girls feel so pressured to be so thin? And, why are there so many creepy men out there molesting young girls? Things need to change. The whole thing saddens me deeply.

Labor of Love

As women, don't we all just love doing laundry, cooking dinner, washing dishes, dusting, vacuuming, cleaning toilets and taking out the trash? NOT! Most of the responsibilities of child rearing and managing our households falls right into our laps. And, does anyone notice? When was the last time your husband said, "Wow, Honey! These floors are so clean you could eat off of them!" You most likely cannot remember him ever saying that to you. Has your child ever thanked you profusely for hauling him/her around to all his/her sports and school related activities? Probably not. The truth of the matter is that, as women, we are expected to do all these things out of love for our families. That sounds awfully nice in theory. But, is it really fair that we have to juggle all of these tasks on our own? No. I personally think we can offer a lot of love to our families and also include them in some of the housework.
When I discussed this with a friend of mine, she looked at me like I was crazy. She said, "You know, it takes a lot less effort just to do it yourself. I tend to exert more energy trying to get my kids to help me out than I do when I just do things myself." For most of us, that is probably true. I simply think that if we could take on the challenge of re-programming our families to help us, then the rewards would be phenomenal. The outcome would be worth the effort.

Riverbend

Wow. I am uncharacteristically speechless. I just finished reading some (more than 5!) of Riverbend's blog posts. I am filled with so many emotions. Anger, sadness, surprise...I have to sit here a minute to mull it all over.
I feel completely ignorant. I am so embarrassed to admit this, but I had no idea Iraq was such a developed country...at least before the war. Riverbend is such an articulate, smart woman. She had a good career in the computer field. She is educated and has spent time abroad. She was able to wear pretty much what she wanted to like jeans and t-shirts...just like my daughter and her friends wear here in the U.S. I guess I just thought all Iraqi women were subservient to the men. I only know of the images I see on television where the women are wearing the clothing completely covering their bodies. But, women there were just like we are here in the United States. I say were because it seems like that may not be the case for them in the future...an uncertain future at best. Riverbend said she made pay equal to that of the men she worked with. That is definitely not always the case in America! And, women made up 50% of the workforce in Iraq. Just like here, they held jobs such as nurses, teachers, doctors, engineers, computer programmers, etc. Iraqi women enjoyed movies, shopping, and other activities that women here in the States enjoy.
I always pictured Iraqi men as goat or sheep farmers who rode camels. I guess I never took the time to think about how they had jobs in occupations much like those in the United States. Riverbend is right. I never even pictured Iraqis as being economically stable.
After reading her posts, I came to the conclusion that families in Western countries and non-Western countries are basically the same. Men and women work to support their families. Children go to school. Families attend church together. Family members love, support and worry about each other. They also argue and fight with one another. Family dynamics are family dynamics regardless of the geographical location of the family.
Unfortunately, the war in Iraq has forced families there to face situations that they would not normally have to face. Riverbend says that women are in danger of being attacked, raped, or abducted when they leave their homes. She will not leave her house wearing pants anymore...only dresses and skirts. Many women who did not wear the hijab (head and neck scarf) before now wear it to protect themselves. The majority of the country is unemployed. People are not able to take care of their families. There is the fear that anyone of her family members or friends could be killed at any moment for no apparent reason. I cannot even imagine living in that kind of fear and not knowing if it is ever going to end.
After reading Riverbend's blog, I feel like the war has crushed an entire culture. It saddens me greatly. I feel confused. I know I am going to be thinking about this for days and days to come. Like Riverbend says, the bottom line is that we all have "mixed feelings in a messed up world."

Medical Care

I find medical care in the United States to be a joke. I pay an incredible amount of money for health insurance every single month. I work in church ministry. Our insurance man told me that our premiums are so high because we are in a group with a lot of ministers. Apparently, ministers are really stressed out people. They fall into a "high risk" category. Therefore, my premiums are high because I am in their same group. I am going to be looking into other insurance plans very soon!

Just this morning, I was talking to a friend of mine who had her claim denied. She is now having to go through the whole appeals process. This is the crazy thing...she actually went to an emergency room of a hospital that was in her "network." The only problem was that the physician that treated her in the emergency room was out of her "network". Does that make sense? She assumed, as would I, that a doctor within a hospital that is within your "network" would also be in your "network." Wrong. She found out the hard way that many hospitals contract physicians to work in their emergency rooms.

Another friend of mine is a physical therapist. She told me she would get so frustrated when she would have to deal with the insurance companies. This is how things would work. She would call an insurance company to have a procedure that she needed to do on a patient pre-approved. Someone that was paid hourly and untrained in the medical field would answer the phone. They would open a big book that described various health conditions. If her patient didn't fall into the guidelines of what was "normal" (in the eyes of the insurance company), the claim would be denied. For example, she had a patient that was experiencing some pain in her hip. After the hourly paid worker at the insurance company asked my friend a bunch of questions, he said, "Well, your patient should not be experiencing that kind of pain for her age or weight. Usually people who are much older and have a history of osteoporosis have those symptoms. Therefore, we cannot cover the claim." That would make my friend so mad. I mean, here she is a trained specialist with a patient who clearly has those symptoms but the insurance company won't cover it. She told me she spent more time haggling on the phone with insurance companies than she did working on patients.

So, much needs to be done in the health insurance industry here in America. Our system is definitely flawed!